Ask the Villainess


In the Beginning, you had to be somebody to write an advice column. Oh, it wasn't like you needed an advanced degree or anything, but you had to have a certain majesty, an authority, a grandeur. Usually you had to have written a book. That was because advice columns ran in newspapers and magazines, which had a certain number of spaces and no more.

Then came the web. Suddenly, there was an infinite amount of space for advice (and everything else.) Big-name, paying web sites snapped up the big-name, paid advice columnists in an attempt to seem respectable, like something printed on paper. Medium-sized web sites grabbed out the columnists who had never written a column before, maybe, but at least had some arguable qualifications. Little web sites and zines scrabbled after with 'advice columnists' whose qualifications consisted of a self-christening with a nom de plum like "Gothic Miss Manners" or "Breakup Girl" (the only good heros are.... dead.) In short, all you needed to be an advice columnist was a snappy title, a web site, and a set of extremely noncontroversial beliefs about how humans should interact.

In yet another Compleat Villainess experiment designed to lower the bar, we will now see if I can get by without the noncontroversial beliefs. So, if you've got a question about world domination, or mad cackling etiquette, or how to get Chianti stains out of black spandex, Ask the Villainess. (If your cheesy browser didn't like that, the e-mail addy is villainess@wickedness.com)